Tuesday, April 3, 2018

an email to nie nie

Hi sweet Stephanie,
It's been a minute since we've talked! Today I've been stuck inside ALL day doing homework (and some napping). I've been in desperate need for fresh air, so I came outside with my laptop and I'm now sitting on my front steps wrapped in a blanket emailing you! (my cute cat Mable is snuggled up besides me too). I just got done catching up on your blog. Life has been crazy busy! I'm still in treatment each day from 10-6 (except for Tuesdays when I usually babysit, but the kids were sick today, so I had a much needed 'free day'). I also teach dance during evenings and am in 15 credits of school (mostly online). WHEW. It's been a crazy semester! 
I'm coming up on a year (may 4th) since I last entered inpatient care. It's hard to believe I will reach a year of being IN treatment without a break. It's a little discouraging, but also very humbling. Most girls stay in treatment for 1-3 months, maybe 6 months. Although it's hard not to compare, I realize how lucky I am! There's lots of people who'd benefit from more time, they just don't have the ability or the insurance coverage to stay for more then a few months. 
This last year has been a whirlwind. I stepped out of 24 hour care in October, so these last 6 months of being somewhat on my own have also been a whirlwind by themselves. I won't lie, it's hard! I struggle with my motivation still. Somedays I just really don't want recovery, but other days I feel inspired, hopeful, and excited about a future.
After reading your blog I'm feeling excited. I want a family to road trip with someday. Also, this fresh air and listening to chirping birds is bringing my a peaceful calm feeling that everything will be okay. Thanks for your inspiration! I still look up to you and love and adore you more then you'll ever know <3 thanks for being a friend! 

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