on may 3rd i went to work (spending my break in the gym of course)
ran some errands, than snapped some photos in my new birthday shirt from the bff - Chlo:
then I went to the gym for a few hours. one hour which consisted of high fitness of course:
(high fitness is my FAVORITE) and i can't wait until i can get back to it.
i spent one last day in all of my "anorexic disorder glory" which is why i think i took so many pictures. i wanted to remember my last day. i wanted to remember my body. i wanted to remember all of my hard work and all the suffering it took to get to the place i was at. as twisted as it is, this body and illness is something i need to greive and mourn.
The night ended with a preisthood blessing, hugs from friends, then cuddling my mama before she had to catch her flight to New York.
24 hours later i was sitting in a hospital that specialized in eating disorders. this wasn't my first time, nor my second. i hope it can be the last. two years ago after my last treatment stay, i wrote this post, which i recently revised and cleaned up a little bit.
as much as i hope this treatment stay can be my last, i fear it won't be... because most days this trial seems to impossible to overcome. it is tiring. really really tiring. i'll write more about the last 6 months soon. for now, here's that update!
here i am, and i'm still fighting. i'm getting stronger every day. and consistenly trying to win my life back.
#fightthegoodfight
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