well, i face planted, and i stood back up. i wish i could say i was running, leaping, chasing, and jumping after recovery (or at least walking towards it) but for now, i'm just standing. i'm no longer helpless on the ground, but i'm not really moving forward either. instead, i'm just standing here watching life pass by. i'm back to my beginning place (before my face plant) of just hanging in there by a thread. this sounds really depressing, but it's not that bad. i'm staying in my comfort zone, yet i'm getting some of the benefits of recovery. i find myself asking "what if this is as good as it gets?" what if i don't progress forward? what if i never get to a place where i can follow my meal plan 100%? what if i never get to a place where i don't want to lose weight? what if this is just simply as good as it gets? part of my is okay with that, because recovery is scary. so, for now, i'm just standing here, figuring out what i want, and settling with one foot in and one foot out.
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